


Thoughts of You

by CutesyMe



Series: MysticMessengerWeek [4]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Heartbreak, Spoiler Warning 707 Route Day 9 and 10, Underage Drinking, Yoosung is underage???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-09
Packaged: 2018-08-30 02:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8514373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CutesyMe/pseuds/CutesyMe
Summary: If only Zen had confessed to you before Saeyoung had. If only he had wooed you more than Saeyoung had. If only he had said something. Now it was too late.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Spoiler Warning 707 Route Day 9 and 10.
> 
> tbh I wasn't aure if I was gonna make it today because I hadn't written a single word of this and didn't know if I could get to do it. But I did and wrote more than 100 words, so YEAY ME.
> 
> Prompt: I always wanted to tell you.

Zen looked at the whining Yoosung, suddenly regretting having given him alcohol. It had seemed like a good idea in the beginning since Yoosung was disraught about the Mint Eye datas having been found in Rika’s apartment and Zen had wanted to be nothing else but helpful and the big brother that Zen is to Yoosung, but judging by the tears streaming down Yoosung’s face now, it had been a horrible idea.

Zen sighed, leaving Yoosung to talking to the poster Zen had hung up of himself on the wall, and wondered how you were doing. He knew you were with Saeyoung – that name still felt foreign to his body and mind – and he also knew that Saeyoung would do anything to protect you, but Saeyoung wasn’t almighty. His best and hardest may not be enough to save you considering what great danger you two were facing.

Never had Zen thought that things would turn out like this. No one had thought that all these things would happen after your arrival. They weren’t happening because of you, Zen wasn’t blaming you for all that, but he wished he could have showed you the beautiful side of the RFA. Now he didn’t know if all of that had even been the truth.

Zen wished everything could go back to how it had been, with V there as their leader, Rika as their party coordinator, Saeyoung as their hacker, Yoosung as the promising student, and Jumin less worried. He was glad that at least Jaehee wasn’t as affected drasticaly as the rest.

But that didn’t mean he wanted everything to go back to how it had been. Even if he felt bad about thinking this, there was one good thing that happened, and that was you joining the RFA. Zen smiled at the thought of you.

He thought back to how much he had looked forward to meeting you tomorrow at the party, finally seeing your beautiful face because someone with a beautiful soul like yours could also only have a beautiful body, and sorrow filled him. Then worry. Groaning, Zen ruffled his hair and took out his phone. He had to call you and make sure you were fine. And, of course, Saeyoung too. The phone rang and rang, and he almost called out in joy when you picked up.

“Is everything okay?“ he asked instead, relieved when you said you were.

He continued to tell you about Yoosung when suddenly Yoosung hugged him from behind and started feeling him up. Zen hurriedly removed Yoosung from himself, reprimanding him when Yoosung asked him who he was talking to.

“My princess!“ Zen responded proudly. “Why? What are you gonna do?“

“Lyiiingg…… Saeyoung has the princess……“

Yoosung got distracted and Zen felt his heart sink to the floor. Of course. How could he have forgotten that? You were so nice and always listened to Zen talk about his problems and call you princess, that you two barely every talked about Saeyoung, about your feelings for Saeyoung so that every time Zen was reminded that you had feelings for Saeyoung it was a bitter surprise.

With a heavy heart, Zen forced himself to say. “Are you pretending to be drunk right now? That won’t work dude!!!“

“It’s nice to hear your voice. I feel like I’m there,“ you said.

It where things like that that made Zen’s heart beat faster and left him yearning for you. But he forced himself to think of Saeyoung, of what he had been through and that he deserved someone like you, and said. “It would have been nice if we could all gather together. Still, we’ll see each other some day.“

And then Yoosung was suddenly trying to take the phone from Zen. Zen reprimanded him again while Yoosung was screaming something about being handsome not being everything, and Zen had no time to get offnded by being called a “selfie-freak“. Yoosung’s jealous side was showing again. Zen turned his attention to you again and apologized, explaining that he had never taken Yoosung for such a lightweight while Yoosung took his words literally about him being Yoosung’s son.

“Sorry,“ Zen said. “I shouldn’t have called you. I just called to hear your voice. I took a nap earlier…“ He was hesitant about his next words but couldn’t and didn’t want to not say them. “And I dreamed about you two leaving somewhere. Anyways, be safe with him. Call me anytime you need. Definitely call me when things are better. I’ll be waiting. You are happy… right?“ he asked despite himself. He needed to know.

One side of him was foolishly hoping that maybe Saeyoung wasn’t what you wanted. That maybe Zen might be the one for you. Think of Saeyoung, a voice in him reprimanded. He felt guilty but he was sure he would be able to deal with that feeling as long as you were on his side, and he told himself that maybe Saeyoung would be fine with giving you up as long as he could get his brothr back.

“Of course. I have my man with me.“

Zen took a deep, silent breath to lessen the pain in his chest and forced himself to say after a small pause. “Okay, that’s good then… I could have made you happy too.“

Before Zen could apologize about saying that – which he didn’t regret at all – Yoosung slurred. “Make me happyyy?“

Zen sighed exasperatedly and exclaimed. “Yeah you! You! You! Just drink this. God.“ You giggled and that made Zen’s heart a little lighter. “I need to put him to bed. Stay safe.“ Zen said and added hastily. “I’ll be waiting for you to call.“

He hung up before you could react to all the embarrassing things he said during the phone call, and looked at Yoosung who had drunk half of the water bottle Zen had given him.

“Come on, lets get you to bed,“ Zen said and helped Yoosung to his feet. The other boy was such a dead weight though that Zen was forced to carry him to his room and tuck him into his own bed. Yoosung tried to get up but Zen pushed him down and helped him out of his jeans.

“I thought you don’t do these things with a man,“ Yoosung said as Zen was pulling down his jeans, sounding genuinely confused.

“Ya!“ Zen exclaimed, scaring Yoosung. “Don’t say stuff like that or I’m going to make you sleep on the floor.“

Yoosung pouted but remained quiet otherwise. Zen also removed the hair pins from Yoosung’s hair and by the time Zen had managed to tuck Yoosung in his duvet, Yoosung had fallen asleep already. He adjusted Yoosung’s body and head in a way that if he threw up – which Zen doubed – he wouldn’t choke on his vomit.

Smiling, Zen shook his head and exited his bedroom. Clsoing the door behind himself, Zen closed his eyes and rested his head against the door. Now that he had nothing to do, he was free to replay all the things you said in his head again. He remembered them as if he was remembering his script so he could always remind himself who you belonged to. Maybe that way he would finally be able to forget.

Zen chuckled because he knew it wasn’t going to be that easy, and walked into the living room. He saw his own beer can that he hadn’t finished drinking and the alcohol – something stronger than beer – which Yoosung had asked for, still on top of the table. If that was the only way to forget you then so be it. It was still better than feeling the pain.

If only Zen had confessed to you before Saeyoung had. If only he had wooed you more than Saeyoung had. If only he had said something. Now it was too late.

As Zen took the first shot, he wondered where you and Saeyoung were staying, if you were sharing a bed, if you were in his arms, and decided that he should rather concentrate on the alcohol.

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope you liked it. Please say so if did, and if not do that too please.
> 
> tumblr: @mitaki


End file.
